Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
