We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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