What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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