Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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