Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
