Having a random hookup so left but love u
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
