my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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