its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
PANTIES FOUND
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
