brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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