Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Randomize
