I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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