Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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