Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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