Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
