After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
