We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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