Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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