Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm passing your future prison.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
