Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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