I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
