but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
