Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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