yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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