he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
