I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
