Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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