Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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