Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
