I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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