What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
