You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I stole a fireplace last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
