Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
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Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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