Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
