Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
