Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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