is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
