i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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