Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
