You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
