2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Holy shit dude........stairs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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