did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
