Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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