I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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