I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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