I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Your penis caused this!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
