Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
