Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize