Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
