Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
