your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
