It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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