either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
