I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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