I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
