marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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