apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
