We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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