Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
