Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
