we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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