The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
