You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
