He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
