Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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