please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
