i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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