If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
